I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
