i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
where are my eyebrows?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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