I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
