yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
