made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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