OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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