yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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