everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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