I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
