I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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