sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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