Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
