Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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