The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
