So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
should my penis look like a turkey
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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