I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
