I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
