Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
