brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
