its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize