she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
