my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
