I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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