love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
