That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
