a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
