she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
