Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
