Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
