he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
