im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
