Your dad touched me again.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This baby is an asshole
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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