you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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