All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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