Best friends brother. Beat that.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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