she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
