drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize