I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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