so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
