he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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