I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
