I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This house was built for laser tag.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
