Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
