I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
