Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
