If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
