i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
