Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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