The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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