remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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