His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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