JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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