i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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