i think my mom watched the whole time
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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