he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize
