I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
