I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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