I want to stick my p in your. b.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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