just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
