Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
